Sunday

Today I did something productive. I cleaned up my room. It wasn't really anything much. I could've done a whole lot more with my time but once again I didn't. But it's a start. I think I can finally break away from this lull I'm in.



On the other hand, I am starting to freak about the progressively more numerous responsibilities that are piling up on me. This is not an isolated occurrence. It's a nasty consequence of the vicious cycle I'm trying to break.



I didn't go to church today. I haven't since I left Davao. I don't see the point when I know I won't be sincere anyway. Also, I'm just too lazy to go and that's probably the only reason. It just makes me feel better to have a justification for my actions.



I am blowing all the long-term things I've decided to carry out and I hate it. I need to lay down a more definite plan for what I should be doing. Boundaries for what I will and won't allow myself to do. I will do it within this week. I think that wouldn't be asking too much of me.



Yup. A gradual change would be best. I'm already aware of how deep and potentially hopeless my situation is. But as long as I have the strength to occassionally keep my head above the water I'm still in the game. And I still have the hope of reaching land. I just hope I don't get myself drowned before I get there.