The List

Sometime last week, while I was in the grip of a particularly annoying respiratory infection (I am still recovering), I got so pissed at all the stupid people around me that I would have written a scathing, lengthy entry containing numerous impolite words if I had only had strength enough to sit in front of a computer and type. Nevertheless, I've since contained my anger and I've created a list of all the people who require immediate punishment.

Note: this is to be taken in the context of an alternate universe where conditions are exactly the same except that I have absolute, unquestionable powers (this is actually true even now, people just don't realize it yet).

1. Drivers of smoke belching vehicles - They shall be given exactly one week to overhaul their engines, and those who don't comply will promptly be rounded up and shot. Not very creative, I know, but it will do. The vehicles themselves will be disposed of in a conveniently out-of-the-way area, all the better to clear up our congested cities.

2. Politicians who had the brilliant idea to allow certain countries to dump worthless spare parts into our country, thereby creating the problem I've mentioned above - These guys, being the instigators of the whole thing, and being the people who should know better, will be publicly skinned alive and left in the streets to rot. An example to others who might get similar brilliant ideas.

3. Politicians, law enforcement officials, and others in power who shamelessly neglect any reasonable measure of law enforcement and allow smoke belching vehicles to run unchecked in the streets, poisoning the citizenry - These people will be decapitated (if they hadn't already been skinned alive) after being branded with the letter S on their chests, which stands for stupid. Their severed heads, along with their bodies, will be displayed in a public area for exactly one week. Again, another example.

4. People who smoke in the streets or in any public area - They will have one hand cut off (preferably the stronger one) and they will have their noses removed. As an afterthought, I might designate one or two buildings within each city to which smoking will be limited – like a smokers' ghetto. The windows will, of course, remain closed.

5. Politicians who, until now, allow cigarette ads on TV and the radio when they have long been outlawed in most other places - Refer to punishment number 2. Any other creative mode of torture and/or execution will be appreciated.

6. People who spit on the streets (here's a clue: keep your disgusting body fluids to yourselves) - They will have their tongues severed and their lips sheared off. Repeat offenders will be smeared with their own spit and required to perform a month of community service.

7. Any other insignificant creatures who happen to incite my annoyance - They will be subject to my discretion, and punishment will vary depending on my mood. They will be sure, however, to lose any number of appendages and/or their lives.

I could go on and on, but this will do for now. With the excellent administrative policies I've come up with, I might consider running for office in the future. Or perhaps more suitably, heading a military coup.

Opium

Since I'm not in the mood to do anything productive yet, and since once again all my interesting little ideas for posting have deserted me, I might as well write about a movie I just finished watching: Walking Tall by the Rock. It's funny because at the beginning when they flashed his name it could have been the title of the movie. Sort of like The Ring or The Phone or something like that. I didn't really plan on watching it (I didn't like the trailer, for one thing) but I had two compelling reasons to waste my time:

1. The afternoon was unbearably hot and I wanted to spend a couple hours without having to constantly wipe the sweat from my face.
2. I had a hangover from spending my weekend almost entirely in bed doing nothing. (I was sick and would have written a few entries about stuff I thought about except that I was too lazy, but maybe I will later) As you should know by now, making like a sloth is one of my favorite things to do, and I didn't want it to end.

So I picked the movie I thought I would least dislike and ended up watching a puzzle. It bored me a little at first, but the story showed promise. And then, when the bad guys started raining bullets on the sheriff's office and the Rock started retaliating by shooting at them with a shotgun I thought, Crap. I am stuck in a generic Filipino action movie. It had all the classic elements: The big, tough-looking hero who could get away with trashing stuff in the name of righteousness and who's only plan seemed to be 'act first, think later'. The hero's 'consort' who's only job was to act pretty and add a bit of interest in the tamer periods. The overused theme of revenge and settling old scores. And of course, plenty of ass-kicking and gunslinging. Undeniably, it was no different from the hundreds of movies that preceded it in this respect. But it was also a feel-good movie. Unlike the usual drawn-out drama and melodramatic ending, the plot moved quickly and actually had a bit of humor. The battle with the bad guys was short and sweet, and provided unconditional victory. The Rock barely got a few scratches, and while he did get a big ugly scar in his midsection, it only served to win him the sympathy of the townspeople and didn't seem to bother his leading lady at all when she took off his shirt and they made out in the sheriff's office. All the bad guys either got shot, severely beaten up, sent to prison, or all of the above. The ending was actually very satisfying. Too good to be true. But then, who would want it to be true?

The movie, I now realize, is standard fare for the masses. Nothing spectacular, but good enough. Sort of the equivalent of the McDonald's value meal I ate while watching. Nevertheless, both served my purpose.

And that's just what I wanted.

Contemplation

It's been a while since I last posted. I don't have anything definite to say right now, so let me leave you with a little something I wrote some months ago, something that I think still applies to me today.


Life is a tragedy, but not quite. You see, a tragedy focuses too much on the ending - that's how it's defined, after all. A tragedy equals a bad ending. And yet despite the fact that all existence comes down to the end is death, I somehow sense that that's not really the point. I may be an irrational hopeful who blinds himself to the inevitability of death (as I suspect the vast majority of people do), but I say it's better to be irrational than to live in despair and meaninglessness.

One sad truth is that most of the time, people live their lives on hold, suspended in time, promising themselves to live with purpose, fulfill their dreams, and make everything the way it should be, right after they get done slacking off or basically just doing nothing. At least, that's the way it is with me. Oftentimes, it takes a tragedy before people finally wake up from their respective fantasy worlds, whatever they may be. I don't know how or why this happens, but it definitely does, and I don't want it to come to that point.

So in a sense the awareness of death, of how fleeting a moment our present existence is, is what ironically impels the individual to make the most out of everyday life and treasure every experience. It is uncertain what the future may bring, and all we have is the here and now. The reality of death does bring despair, but beyond that it also carries the message that life is infinitely precious, that it is something to be savored to its fullest extent to give it justice.

And so, when the time comes when all has passed and there is nothing left but goodbye, I'll have only one thing to say: I hope you had the time of your life, and I hope I did too.